In The Process
by idkgirl27
Summary: Kenny's past is finally catching up to him. He'd like nothing more than to move on with someone he actually loves. However, Butters can't forget. Bunny


I can tell that something's bothering him.

We're at Stark's pond right now. It's a bright summer day and he, of all people, should be happy.

But he's not.

I've been sitting here on the ground watching him pull out clumps of grass. Butters isn't one to destroy anything. Normally, he'd say that yanking out grass is being mean to Earth. So I know that something must be on his mind, "Butters, is everything okay?"

Butters stops pulling at the grass and shrugs, "Y-yeah, I… I g-guess so…"

I don't believe him. Butters doesn't lie often but I can still tell when he does, "Are you sure?"

He places his hands on his lap and looks down, "Everything's f-fine," Butters looks up to me slowly, "K-ken, do you…. l-love me?"

"Of course I do." I reach out to pull him closer but instead he moves further from me.

He brings his legs to his chest and wraps his arms around them, "Do you… do you m-mean that?"

I smile trying to reassure him but it doesn't seem to work, "Yes, I do love you and I do mean that."

I can see a small smile appear on his face, "I…. I don't….. I d-don't believe you, Ken…."

I feel my heart drop. Of course I love him. I love Butters with all of my heart. I've told him before how much I love him, "Butters, what's wrong?"

Butters looks around nervously before settling his eyes on the ground, "It's just that…. You've t-told lots of people that and…. you never…. never meant it…."

I bite down on my lip trying to think of how to respond.

It was true I wasn't exactly a saint. I had told plenty of girls and guys that I loved them just so I could get into their pants.

But Butters was different.

Initially I was only interested in sleeping with him and Butters, well aware of my promiscuity, rejected me.

I had never been rejected before and I never thought that Butters would ever turn me down.

He told me that even though I was a good friend that he didn't want to get his heart broken.

The rejection only made me more interested in him. Now I **had **to have him. So I tried again and again to win him over only to be turned down every single time.

In the process of trying to win him over I ended up falling in love with him.

I, Kenny McCormick, the guy that only ever cared about getting laid, was in love with Butters Stotch.

I didn't care anymore about getting into his pants all I wanted was to win his heart. I had to ask him out about a thousand times until he finally said yes.

For the first time in my life there was someone that I cared about, someone that I loved more than myself. I'd do anything to make him happy because that was the only thing that made me happy.

Eventually we did have sex but that wasn't my biggest priority anymore. I really do love Butters. I'm still with him even though we've already had sex. That has to count for something, "Butters…. I love you. I really, really love you. Maybe I wasn't always the nicest guy but I've changed. I only want to be with you."

I reach out to take his hand but he pushes me away, "I'm… I'm tr-tryin' to but I don't think that I c-can forget. Everyday I'm so terrified that I'm gonna…. gonna l-loose you. That you'll just w-wake up and decide that you're…. you're d-done with me. You've done that b-before with other… other p-people. What's to st-stop you from leavin' me too?"

I can feel tears forming in my eyes. I need him so badly to believe me, "Butters, I'm never going to leave you. I love you too much to walk away now. All of those other people meant nothing to me. You're so much better than them. Please, believe me."

Butters moves closer to me and I wrap my arms around him. He buries his face into my chest and I think that maybe I've finally convinced him. I look down to him but I can still see the sadness in his eyes.

He sighs, his hands clutching my shirt, as if he's scared that I might run away at any second, "I just… I j-just don't know, Ken…."

I kiss his forehead softly and look up at the sky.

I'll show him.

It'll take some time but I'll make him realize that I'm sincere. I don't care how long it takes, what I'll have to do.

Just as long as he knows that he's loved.


End file.
